we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
