I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
