That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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