textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
