fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
