how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
