So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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