I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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