they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
