Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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