last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
