im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
