i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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