Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
