My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
