Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
