I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
