I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Terrible idea I love it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
