I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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