I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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