i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
