tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
