The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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