come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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