Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
