We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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