i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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