Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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