He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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