oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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