I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
