He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
