Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
