Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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