I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
