she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize