you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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