Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
