You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
