I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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