pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
