How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
