I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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