with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
