Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We're too hungover to prance.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
