I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
