my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
well you can't waste a boner
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
