I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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