you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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