Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
