There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
