I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
