i already hear my dad disowning me
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize