What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
