Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
there is glitter all over my balls
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