how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
