Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
