Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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