I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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