I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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