I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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