Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
